Day 23: Pet Peeves

 We all have those things that just set us off. We get to a point of being so annoyed and frustrated that you react with an attitude. Sometimes they force us to speak up or take action whether we are dealing with strangers or people who we are familiar with.

 I think knowing someone's pet peeves is a great way to understand them and their behaviors. So, in order to help you get to know another aspect of who I am, here is a list of my top pet peeves. They are in no particular order and cover a variety of instances and categories. 

1. People who do not cover their mouths when they sneeze, cough, burp/belch, or yawn (AND DON'T YOU DARE USE YOUR HANDS EITHER! Use your sleeve, arm, or napkin. Nasty!)

2. When people take 30 napkins, use 1, then throw all the rest away!! (stop waisting!! Do you know that there is a mother somewhere who needs those for her snot-nosed kid?!)
3. People who put all of their business and every detail on social media (get a journal)
4. Men who don't walk on the outside (it's old fashioned but chivalrous)

5. When you ask me a question, I answer it, then you repeat my answer (if I needed a tape recorder...)
6. People who like their own pictures and posts on social media (get a friend lol)
7. When visiting a place of business or establishment and no one greets me, especially the receptionist or associate who should be directing/helping me anyway (you obviously were never an usher growing up lol)

8. When you ask me a question during a conversation just so that you can answer it.
9. People that have to pepper their speech with profanity (you've failed every vocabulary test ever, didn't you?!!)
10. Using hand sanitizer as a cleanser (soap and water, hun)
11. People who don't say "excuse me" when they should (which is more often than exercised)
12. Incorrect grammar and word usage- written or spoken (especially as one who claims to be a professional or educated)

13. Negative/toxic people (I'm too positive to put up with you. I'd be good and doggone to let you bring me down...so way, no how! No ma'am, no sir!)
14. Males, especially men over age 25, who wear their pants below their waist, and with a belt on!! (what was the point in dressing at all? NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR NASTY DRAWLS!)

15. Eyebrows that look like you took a permanent marker to your face (get a stencil sis)

Day 22: 10 Favorite Songs (36)

   Music has ALWAYS been significant in my life. I come from a musical family. We are full of musicians, singers, directors, composers, etc. We all grew up singing in the choir in church. For those of us who do not have a "gift" in music, we certainly have an ear for it. I love to sing, but I stay in my lane. I know I am not talented enough to lead a song or even sing the national anthem for an event. I do, however, enjoy it very much. It's been a part of my entire life. I miss it now that it's been about five years since I was singing committed to a group. I enjoy watching the talent competitions, attending concerts, recitals, musicals, and the like.
 
   Over the years I have developed an eclectic taste for music. I love all types of music. Everything from Pop to Rock, from Hip Hop to Jazz, from Country to Gospel, from Classical to The Blues. I have an appreciation for all types of music. My dad used to enjoy having me list my top five quartets groups, top pop female artists, top new age male vocalists, etc. And the fun part was that he'd always be random about this trivia. We'd be walking around a Best Buy or Target, or at home getting ready for dinner or to leave for church. Fun times.

  Now, this is significant because I can not simply just name my top ten favorite songs of all time as if that's easy. My list crosses genres and spans decades. Thus, to help me narrow this down a bit, I've decided to share with you my top 36 songs (since I'm now 36 years old) broken down into six categories and is my current list for 2019 (meaning this was different last year and can change next year). My top favorite categories to listen to include Gospel, Love Songs, Party, Oldies, Motivational, and Love-Making. I call them categories because obviously, most are not actual genres of music.

   Since I don't wish to go into details about why each song is on the list, I'm simply going to list the songs with links to check them out on YouTube for yourself. If you want details about why I've chosen certain songs, please comment below and I will edit this post to include details.

Gospel:
Gabriel Hardeman Delegation "I Want to Go" 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uc4VzZ44kUs&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG4PL_PYSzok4M2c4Max8n6K&index=65

Commissioned "Thank You for Loving Me"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5aZf79y7aQ&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG4PL_PYSzok4M2c4Max8n6K&index=62

Da T.R.U.T.H. featuring Irvin Washington "Do It For You"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvlZ5cZs2W8&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG4PL_PYSzok4M2c4Max8n6K&index=12

Tauren Wells "Hills & Valleys"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4rRCjrAyCs&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG4PL_PYSzok4M2c4Max8n6K&index=81&t=0s

Mali Music "Make Me New"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T44kxKLvhrQ&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG4PL_PYSzok4M2c4Max8n6K&index=43

Chris August "The Maker"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH03GMmdMRI&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG4PL_PYSzok4M2c4Max8n6K&index=51

Love Songs:
R. Kelly "Number One Hit"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zt9cMcCOacc&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=41

Ruff Endz " Someone to Love You"   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3VJZgJ8oEdw&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=15

Aerosmith "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkK8g6FMEXE&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=4

Ginuwine "Differences"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPOx7pt43ec&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=94

Kem "Nobody"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JcZx6TD2XMw&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=85

Tyrese "Lately"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OG_l40pdPEA&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG7dT4AZCFppVju8kQ9QX7cQ&index=12&t=0s

Oldies:
The Coasters "Sh Boom Life Could Be A Dream"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEP224Sa4Rw

Nat King Cole "When I Fall In Love"   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y39N72hN7iQ

Jermaine Jackson "Let's Get Serious"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41MkpchTX7g&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=5

The O'Jays "Darlin' Darlin' Baby (Sweet, Tender, Love)"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2zX938Fp3F8&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=85

Smokey Robinson "Cruisin'"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlzY6cWpoMQ&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=86

Anita Baker "I Apologize"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TP7FTdx-ywA&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=89&t=0s

Motivational/Self:
Jazmine Sullivan "Masterpiece (Mona Lisa)"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qfB1RASuV8E&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=1

Megan Trainor "Me Too"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDRORgoZxZU

Alicia Keys "Superwoman"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AphKUK8twg&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=36&t=0s

Hailee Steinfeld "Love Myself"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-AphKUK8twg&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=36&t=0s

David Guetta featuring Sia "Titanium"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m98S5Cd7Jiw&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=90

Ne-Yo "Miss Independent"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6M5C-oKw9k&list=FLPtwlkGxY_HzEJ2iQBdJC2g&index=29&t=0s

Party:
Benny Goodman "Sing Sing Sing"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhyhP_5VfKM&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG7dCloyG2WYRbL_sEym-m5E&index=45&t=0s

James Brown "Gonna Have a Funky Good Time"   

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6iSL1dsShc&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG7dCloyG2WYRbL_sEym-m5E&index=59

Sisqo "Thong Song"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oai1V7kaFBk&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG7dCloyG2WYRbL_sEym-m5E&index=107

Folklore Riddim "Hello"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh_iSHsVsPA&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG7dCloyG2WYRbL_sEym-m5E&index=55

Beyonce' "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m1EFMoRFvY&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG7dCloyG2WYRbL_sEym-m5E&index=106

Beenie Man "King of the Dancehall"  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D_rkOdie5KY&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG7dCloyG2WYRbL_sEym-m5E&index=81

Love-Making:
Ne-Yo "Say It" 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWAhvagX7UI&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG7dT4AZCFppVju8kQ9QX7cQ&index=3

Joe "More & More" 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zqirPOT0oOs&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG7dT4AZCFppVju8kQ9QX7cQ&index=24

Ciara "Body Party" 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9rSBcoX9ak&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG7dT4AZCFppVju8kQ9QX7cQ&index=6

Michael Jackson "Break of Dawn" 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nI0ocFuea_s&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG7dT4AZCFppVju8kQ9QX7cQ&index=53

Alicia Keys & Maxwell "Fire We Make" 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gN-az8fkaKc&list=PLLX-4_2_wcG7dT4AZCFppVju8kQ9QX7cQ&index=19

Chris Brown "Take You Down" 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpy3WWvL7rg

Day 21: Something I Miss

  When beginning to think about one thing that I miss, I began to make an extensive list. I couldn't believe it. I could not limit myself to just a tangible item to talk about. I had to add details about various different aspects of my life to the list of what I miss. It is a list now. I realize now that there are tons of things that I miss! I've created this list freehand, so there is no order and no organization to it. Some "things" have a little bit of an explanation, but most items listed are just straight forward. Be sure to comment below if you want more details about anything listed.

I miss the innocence of childhood.
I miss the pure worship in church
I miss the passion for salvation and the upbuilding of God's kingdom.
I miss the village mindset of our community. Neighbors looking out for neighbors. A trust and respect that is far lost
I miss going to school and excelling in classes.
I miss my old body - freshman year of college body. I thought I was huge but look back at the pictures and have no idea what the heck was wrong with me!
I miss chivalry.
I miss trying to empress one another while courting in a relationship. Just because we both want to be together doesn't mean I'm sticking around yet. I'm trying to impress you, don't I deserve the same effort?
I miss having a really nice car.
I miss being able to intimidate men because they thought I was untouchable and high maintenance because of the standard I'd kept for myself. My how I've let myself go (you can tell by the guys I've dated over the past decade or so lol).
I miss being fully functional and aware after only a few hours of sleep (in college).
I miss having my own radio show.
I miss college.
I miss traveling.
I miss the diamond (looking) tennis bracelet my grandmother gave me at age 16 (or 18). It made me feel like a woman. It was the only thing I'd ever remember getting from her of any value. I have no idea where it's gone. It's been gone for about a decade and still hurts that I don't have it.
I miss making love and being amazed. 
I miss the look in people's eyes when they'd meet me which would always say "that girl is going somewhere." I've been such a disappointment for so long I don't even know how to get those looks anymore. I wasn't trying for them in the first place, but it was enough to motivate me to want to do better. Strangers and loved one alike would offer such a powerful look to me. I miss being the woman who got that type of look from people.

  That's all I can think of right now off the top of my head. This list is certainly unorganized in every way. Again, if you desire to have more details about anything that I've listed, please be sure to comment below and I can provide details. Does anything on this list resonate with you? Give details in the comments. Did I make this a bigger deal than what it had to be?

Day 20: Where I want to be in 10 Years

In ten years, it will be the year 2029. I will be 46 years old, my son will be 20 years old and hopefully enjoying the third year of his college education.

Now, while a massive asteroid is predicted to hit Earth on April 13, 2029, I am planning on several major things and have certain expectations of my life that will continue even after we realize this was all a hoax or too far away to actually make contact with the Earth's atmosphere. With the expectation that we've survived a recession (expected 2020-2029), a few major natural disasters, and massive technological advances in all industries, I think my view of my life is realistic and adjustable accordingly. No sci-fi expectations here.

When I dream and envision the future, my life is 1000times better than what it is right now. On the surface, I am much thinner and healthier. My hair is straight and colored. My skin is even, smooth, and clear. I don't walk with a limp. Haven't had any more life-changing accidents that give me a handicap or cause me to be physically unwell in any way. I've become disciplined in my health and diet that in ten years I'm a master at it and have a regimen that works for my son and I. My goal is to get to a place in my life where I may be a certain age but I certainly don't look like it. In fact, I plan on looking much younger. I'll be 46 but I'll look 26. Ha!

To be perfectly shallow, I also see a beautiful home, luxury car, full chic/professional/simple wardrobe, simple diamonds that I've purchased for myself along with a set of pearls and my birthstone in my fancy jewelry armoire. I'd be sleeping every night in a kingsize bed adorned with a million fluffy pillows and the silkiest, most plush sheet sets ever made. My luxury but minimalistic lifestyle will fascinate most.

Professionally, I want to be a millionaire entrepreneur still working in the beauty/fashion industries. I want to be a successful public speaker with bookings to present all over the world. I want The Literacy Empowerment Initiative (my soon-to-be non-profit organization) to continue being a staple for literacy empowerment and awareness for intergenerational, interracial, multifaceted people in the urban communities of our nation. I want to be the director of a beauty pageant with several titles under my own belt (I plan on competing again next year, by the way). I want to have a high-tech, high-class, highrise office out of which I work with my own project management firm.

I dream often, more recently now than ever before, about being more civically and politically involved. I imagine that within the next ten years I've had a significant amount of local involvement that sets me up for future political success. I'll still be very young and not 50 years old yet, so I want to be prepared by then to hold some sort of local political office. I want to become so civically engaged that it isn't a surprise to anyone once I decide to run. I'd have the support and the leverage to make for a successful campaign and win. I'd have relationships forged and strongly built with the right organizations, politicians, media partnerships, and community leaders/organizers.

I've realized that I am one who needs validation every now and again. Within the next ten years, I want to do so well at whatever I'm involved in that I continue to be nominated and awarded in various areas and arenas. My work as a civic servant continues and others recognize it and want to celebrate it.

I'm certain there are tons more things I could add, but this is it off the top of my head.
Does anything from my list match what you have on yours? How different is how you see yourself from how I see myself? Do share in detail in the comments. Thanks for taking the time.

Day 19: My Worst Habits

Wanna know one of the weirdest bad habits I have??
I cut my calluses off with regular scissors. lol! It's true. Because of poor circulation, I develop calluses on my feet quite often. I have developed bruises because instead of taking care of them how one should with prescribed creams and oils and regular foot care, I wait until they get too thick and grab a pair of scissors and go to cutting the dead skin off myself. Any doctor will tell you NOT TO DO THIS, but, do I listen? Nope! I need a pedicure badly and the pumice stone soap bar from LUSH badly!

If you haven't clicked off already because you're sick and disgusted, it gets better, trust me.

I have a really bad habit of arriving late to events and appointments. Not simply within the forgiving 5-10 minute range, no, I end of being half hour or more late on many occasions. Ugh! Punctuality is not one of my strong suits. I do admit that. I mean, it's not because I'm trying to find something to wear or have a lot of hair to deal with (I purchase mine). Those things are quick and simple for me. My issue is just when I actually start getting ready and then when I end of leaving my house to get to wherever. Transportation has been an issue for me for a very long time. Knowing that you'd think I'd learn to leave earlier to allow for transportation issues. Nope. Ugh. However, I have been getting better. Dating men who are punctual helps me, but I haven't mastered it just yet.

Wait, I think I have one that may make you sick again...
I also have a horrible habit of chewing on the inside of my jaw. You know how you bite your nails and then spit out the piece of nail that you've broken off from the bite. I do the same thing with the skin on the inside of my jaw. Ill! It's been a horrible oral fixation the better part of my life. Every dentist I've ever seen has yelled at me about it. They tell me to stop immediately. I think it makes my mouth more susceptible to bacteria and infections. I've done it for so long I do it subconsciously. I have to try to be mindful when I do it. It makes my mouth sting when I use mouthwash and oral rinses. Yikes! There's no such thing as jaw transplants that I know of so I better cut it out.

And lastly, just one more for the road...
One of my worst habits is starting challenges and not completing them. Seriously. I'll find a cool challenge to try online somewhere or in a magazine and give up too soon. Or I will challenge myself to try something new or try to develop a new and positive habit, and then get less than halfway through and fail, and never pick it back up. That's why I'm super determined to complete this blog challenge and get better at it. I may lose readers with entries like this, but I still have to try!

Day 18: What Am I Afraid Of?

 

  To be afraid is to be fearful or frightened. To be worried that something undesirable will occur or be done. It's a feeling of nervousness and worry.

   I'd like to think that because I am a woman of faith that there are a few things that I am actually afraid of. I have faith, so fear doesn't' have power over my life. However, I am one hundred percent human and we get afraid sometimes. There are times when fear grips you and it's hard to grab on to that faith.

  At this point in my life, there are just a few things that make me actually afraid. There are just four things that I can think of right now that make me so uncomfortable and nervous and worried that something might happen to me.

1. I am afraid of bridges. 
   
2. I am afraid of being too close to animals with more legs than me.                                                                               
3. I am afraid of dying as a failure. 
   
4. I am afraid of being unable to protect my son.   
   

   As previously discussed in another blog entry, I am uncertain from whence my fear of bridges has come. I don't know what it is, but I feel so afraid when I am driving on a narrow road leading to a bridge. I can't even make it to the actual bridge most times because I've had a panic attack just thinking about the bridge coming up. I just see the bridge and my life flashes before my eyes. I begin to cry and breath heavily. The uneasy feeling I have just thinking about driving across a bridge is something to focus on getting rid of. I absolutely love to drive and driving long distances is so relaxing for me. I'm hoping that this is just a phase and that I can get back to traveling as a driver as I have for most of my adulthood.

   I will not say that I have a fear of animals. I am appreciative of all the various different types of animals and species and the food chain. However, I do not appreciate being so close to them. I do not trust anything with more legs than me. It makes me extremely uncomfortable being around a creature that can do things that I can not. And to make matters worse, to have a relationship with that creature in a confined and intimate setting... outrageous. Nope!

   There are tons of things that I want to accomplish in my life. I have felt as though I am playing "catch-up" right now because I should have done so much way before now. I believe that I'm not too late, but I do have so much to do. I'd hate to die and have my work undone. The thought of dying with so much unfinished business and so many opportunities that I could have taken advantage of and so many people I could have positively affected, just makes me nervous and worried. I am determined now to change that. I am on a mission to begin to achieve so much before I turn 40 years old and beyond. I want to leave a legacy and security for my son and my loved ones. I don't want to die a disappointment, so I have to work daily now to make life better and plan for the future.

   Lastly, I have a gutwrenching ache that I would not be able to protect my son. Whether because I am physically unable to defend him because of my physical limitations due to being overweight, out of shape, and sick or crippled, or whether it be that I am not present with him when danger reaches him to protect him from it, the thought makes me feel helpless and useless. I am motivated to change my physical status so that I can run fast, have endurance, more strength, jump high, climb, swim, fight, have great reflexes, defense tactics, see near and far, etc. I want to be able to handle whatever situation that may come up that threatens my son and me physically. Right now, I am not confident that I can do any of the aforementioned. I'm on a mission to change that.

   Not very much makes me afraid, however, I hope this shortlist of things that do gives you a glimpse into who I am and how I hope to become a better person.